Brazil's woke President
Reports of Lula’s inauguration show that the daemon of woke haunts every corner of this sorry world.
‘Lula’ is not a fitting name for a politician. It might work for a dachshund or a popstar, but not a president: it's as congruous as a king called Ian or a binman called Horatio-Augustus. Bolsonaro, on the other hand – well, that's a name you can take to the bank, and dress up in uniform, too.
I cannot say I care much about the day-to-day happenings in Brazil. Our own country produces enough idiocy every week to sustain us all until at least the next millennium. Nevertheless, reports of Lula’s inauguration show that the daemon of woke haunts every corner of this sorry world.
Upon being sworn in for his third pop at the job, President ‘Lula’ made the absurd statement that the previous administration had allowed a “genocide” to take place during Covid, causing the deaths of 680,000 Brazilians. It's a peculiar claim given Brazil ranks a paltry 20th in the deaths-per-million league tables, beaten by countries such as Peru, Montenegro and San Marino. Perhaps there has been a Sanmarinese genocide, but it's the first I've heard about it.
More plainly, it was a stupid thing to say. Then again, South American politicians are hardly famed for their reluctance to reach for hyperbole. In announcing that “the nightmare [of Bolsonaro's rule] is over”, Lula put remaining doubts to bed.
President Tallulah, sorry, 'Lula', repeated his desire to turn Brazil into a “green superpower”, whatever that means. Superpowers tend to rely, at some point, on hard power, which is projected by steel, high explosive and jet fuel. Presumably the President will think of a way round this, perhaps deploying squadrons of oar-powered hollowed-out tree-trunks manned by slingshot-wielding mariners.
With the corruption and embezzlement for which he was until recently behind bars, such military expenditure will be all the coffers anyway. It, however, would be more in keeping with his ambition to be a president fully signed up to the environmentalist agenda.
Nor is Lula keen on Brazilian citizens being armed. The last President loosened gun ownership policies; but, as everyone knows, the left disdain the citizen's right to self-defence and want them utterly reliant on the state's monopoly of violence. The only problem is that Brazil is, for want of a better word, quite murder-y. Homicides there were 22.3 per 100,000 in 2021 (falling from 30.9 in 2017). This compares with 1.1 per 100,000 in the UK. With those kinds of stats, I think I would want a shooter as well.
‘Lula’ disagrees: "Brazil does not want more weapons, it wants peace and security for its people." Fine words butter no parsnips, nor chamber any rounds.
A quote from The Daily Telegraph Lula vows to fight for environment and equality as he becomes Brazil's President – after dutifully labelling Bolsonaro “far right”, natch – is worth quoting at length to get a feeling for the festival of performative virtue that the inauguration day was:
“After the swearing-in, Mr Lula drove in an open-top Rolls-Royce to the Planalto palace, where he walked up its ramp with his wife and a diverse group that included Chief Raoni Metuktire of the Kayapó tribe, a young Black boy and a disabled man.
“He was then handed the presidential sash – a hugely symbolic act in Brazil that Mr Bolsonaro had repeatedly said he would never do – by Aline Sousa, a Black garbage collector.
“Tens of thousands who had gathered to celebrate on Brasilia's esplanade cheered as Lula wiped away tears.”
Tears of self-love, perhaps. Reported elsewhere is that the “diverse group” included a rapper as well, but I cannot find information as to whether any LGBTQ+ representatives were present, which will disappoint many. High, but not full, Marx for the effort, nonetheless.
And so, if this South American inauguration is anything to go by it seems that 2023 will be much the same as the year it left behind: wearyingly woke.
