Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's bi-sexual Superman!
'I care', they cry, 'I really care'. Yet all they do is follow Big Tech, Big Media and Big Corporate's lead, unthinkingly spewing out their hollow philosophies.
How would you change the world?
I know what I'd do. I'd make Mario transgender and his brother, Luigi, mixed race. That would be my contribution, my legacy. Only through that would I absolve the ignorant crimes of my youth, when I played on my Nintendo without once considering the problematic heteronormativity and whiteness of those two Italian plumbers.
Perhaps it's not the most original idea. Everything gets similar treatment nowadays. Mary Tudor was black. Gawain of Arthurian legend of Indian extraction. James Bond will probably be played by a black chap. With any luck he'll be wheelchair-bound too: just imagine all the gadgets Q could fit into a heavily modified MI5 mobility scooter.
The latest to get the modern makeover is Superman. Jon Kent, son of Clark Kent, is supposedly a thoroughly twenty-first century superhero, using his powers to stop climate changing and the deportation of illegal immigrants. But this wasn't enough: DC Comics have now revealed that he is bi-sexual too.
Unable to resist the ultra kawaii Jay Nakamura, the new LGBT flag-festooned Superman has added a rejection of heterosexuality to his list of super abilities. So brave, so stunning. So stunningly brave.
Some may argue, as Ben Shapiro did, that this is merely a pinkwash. Until Superman is variously transgender and disabled, the world will not be at ease. I, for one, agree. The outdated ideas of what was 'normal' about twenty minutes ago are our collective kryptonite: be gone, traditional family values and masculinity!
It's all very tiring, I'm sure you will agree. There is perhaps nothing less conformist in today's world than trying to shoehorn identity politics into every nook and cranny possible. Whereas in the past those advocating for 'minority rights' were in an, err, minority, they are now the controlling party. Yet, they continue to go through the pantomime that holding such beliefs are 'transgressive' or 'anti-establishment'.
It is all mainstream – undeniably so. When Google are showing adverts with bearded ladies asking 'how can I declare my love to him?' and you're merely making Superman bi, you're lagging far behind, my friend.
Ultimately what these utterly predictable 'creative' types are doing is nothing more than signalling that they are holders of high-status beliefs. The more absurd and conformist, the better. As it becomes more difficult to differentiate oneself from one's social inferiors through material possessions – after all, we all have iPhones nowadays – the adoption of such luxury beliefs and the automaton like repetition of woke shibboleths is the most expedient way to do so.
You'll note that nobody who claims to want to change the world today by, for example, making Superman bisexual will bother actually doing anything for anyone else. Hardly anyone wants to get out there and remove some cataracts from oldies in a third world village or look after the infirm. Just talking – endless, bloody talking – is the currency of the modern reformer.
'I care', they cry, 'I really care'. Yet all they do is follow Big Tech, Big Media and Big Corporate's lead, unthinkingly spewing out their hollow philosophies.
And in a sorry indictment of our times, that, for most, is good enough.
