Welcome to the grand pub re-opening
Opening solely the beer gardens in a month known for ‘April showers’ is a risky endeavour from the get-go
A good test to see whether a pub will survive the never-ending series of Whitehall-imposed lockdowns is if it won’t re-open until May. Establishments on the brink will cram as many customers onto the outside premises as possible, despite how crammed and uncomfortable it may be. On the other hand, local pubs under the rule of a corporate chain can afford to keep their doors locked, and their employees furloughed.
In addition, opening solely the beer gardens in a month known for ‘April showers’ is a risky endeavour from the get-go. There will be cold and miserable days typical of this maritime climate where demand will be non-existent, but roughly an equal number of warm and sunny days where many potential customers would have checked the weather report on their phones the night before, causing an overflow of demand. This means that businesses will have to pay the utility bills and employee wages during the worst days, and possibly not be able to recoup these losses when the sun shines. Is it any surprise that some businesses have decided to wait out the storm for another month?
Although the nature of British weather will never change – by changing all the time – the ‘new normal’ atmosphere of the pubs is completely alien. Given the lack of space, booking in advance will likely be the only possible avenue to get a table for the first couple of weeks, making it closer to a formal, time-restricted appointment rather than the liberating convenience of coming and going as one liked.
Do not for one moment think that the pubs will be the ideal place to socialise either. The red tape of ongoing lockdown restrictions means that, as if we were school children once again, we must remain seated at our table or we will be expelled from the premises. Making the usual lap of the pub to speak to old acquaintances is now strictly forbidden.
We should oppose this ‘new normal’ with every fibre of our being, but, with equal conviction, we must still help the industry with our pent-up debit card cash (it is not their fault they are in this situation), and scratch that itch that has not been scratched for many months. So, remember to download the app, charge up your phone, top up your data and do all the other requirements to convert yourself into a consumer cyberman, and welcome the somewhat grand British pub re-opening.
