English Football has long been singing to the Saudi Toon
The entire sport is irredeemably corrupted and incorrigibly venal. We might as well enjoy the decline- turn on, Toon in and cop out.
The British press has widely criticised the takeover of Newcastle United by a consortium in which the sovereign wealth fund of Saudi Arabia holds a majority share. Amnesty International has argued that the deal would be another example of the regime’s ‘sportswashing’, a process by which it uses the prestige and high profile of sport to launder its appalling human rights record.
The list of the Saudi government’s crimes against morality is long. From its treatment of women, through its intolerance of criticism, to its justice system, there is barely a fundamental right, freedom or ethic upon which the Saudi government does not trample. Further, it has been in the past (and likely still is) a major exporter of Islamic radicalism through its funding of extremist madrassas and mosques- and probably terror groups- around the world. It has also destabilised its region, fighting savage proxy wars in Syria and Iraq, attempting to cut off Qatar from the world, and creating a humanitarian disaster in Yemen by waging war in a way that showed, according to Amnesty, an “appalling disregard” for civilian life. The UN has reported that Saudi Arabia’s actions in Yemen “may constitute War Crimes.”
In an ideal world, even Mike Ashley would have been preferable to being cynically used as a PR vehicle by one of the world’s ugliest regimes. In our world, though, that boat sailed decades ago (to Monaco or the British Virgin Islands). The English Premier League and the Football Association have long since shown themselves to be indifferent to the backgrounds and morality of club owners. In the last twenty years, corrupt Thai human rights abusers, oligarchs whose wealth was created through gangsterism and mass theft, alleged post-Soviet heroin dealers, shady Chinese businessmen, pornographers, and big-time gamblers have all been allowed to take significant shares or full ownership of professional football clubs. They were waved through on the basis that they could funnel vast quantities of cash into the offshore bank accounts of the existing shareholders.
Sometimes the authorities have not even bothered to check that. Between 2005 and 2010, Portsmouth FC, a club founded in 1898, went through no fewer than five owners of dubious probity, none of which had the funds to run the club. These men included two fake Sheiks, one of whom ended up in prison, and a Russian mobster who was served an Interpol arrest warrant at around the time of his ownership. We are now expected to accept that the Saudis are beyond the pale.
On the subject of morality, let us revisit the Glazer family's 2005 takeover of Manchester United. They funded their purchase by borrowing against the club itself (including through the use of high yield Payment in Kind notes). This saddled Manchester United with £550 million of debt. Since then, the club has spent £704 million on interest and £244 million on loan repayments, but is still £526 million in debt. However, during this time, the Glazers have approved £125 million of dividends (which have mostly ended up in their own pockets). What do our pearl-clutching journalists- suddenly filled with horror that an Arab Dauphin might buy Newcastle, cash up-front, using state wealth- have to say about Manchester United being turned into a milch cow for rapacious Yankee capitalists? Little.
In the eighties and nineties, as English football was refashioned, it had a choice. It could have insisted that the clubs remained clubs. It could have sought to protect its reputation by properly vetting owners and banning sponsors like bookmakers, just as it had tobacco. It could have even insisted that if the old owners (mostly aristocrats, wealthy families or businessmen who had a vested interest in the surrounding area) wanted to sell, the club had to be moved to the German, fan-owned model. But it didn’t. Instead, it allowed anybody to sell to anyone, and grabbed as much cash as it could, irrespective of its source. It even allowed Wimbledon FC to move, franchise style, because the price was right.
Having the Saudis in control of Newcastle United will likely make the club a lightning rod for the regime’s numerous enemies. Beyond that, there is no reason to care. If the British government can fly the Union Flag at half-mast when King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia dies, then his kin are good enough to own a club operating in our long-debased top-flight football league. The entire sport is irredeemably corrupted and incorrigibly venal. We might as well enjoy the decline- turn on, Toon in and cop out.
